Daily Data Dump: April 2010

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Funny Amazon Reviews

Gillette Razor Power, Fusion Gamer, 1-Count Package (Health and Beauty)

51 of 57 people found the following review helpful:
The ONLY razor for gamers., March 2, 2009

By T. Johnson "tojo2000" (Santa Clara, CA)

Kudos to Gillette for being the first company to recognize that the stubble created by days of gaming cannot be shaven by any ordinary tool made by modern man. In the 80's, many a man succumbed to "Donkey Kong Beard", a near-fatal illness which would befall only the most frequent denizens of the mall arcade. Now, a much more lethal malady, Halo sideburns, threatens to nip the lives of our most precious resource, our post-pubescent children, in the proverbial bud. Please, protect someone you love. Buy them the Gillette Razor Power, Fusion Gamer today. Nothing else will combat Gamer Stubble.

45 of 53 people found the following review helpful:
Works, but tinged with hate and fear, March 2, 2009

By Robert O'Gwynn (Jackson, MS USA)

I tried to buy the Gillette Razor Power, Fusion Gamer(tm) from Best Circuit Shack, but one of the beflippered gnomes who toil there refused to sell it to me.

When I approached the counter to purchase this clearly superior shaving wand, "Doug" began to hammer me with questions. "What's your favorite game? What are the other names of Jenova? How many alts do you have in WoW? Have you ever run a CS server?" Flustered, I could only stammer out thin excuses. "Doug" grew suspicious and hustled me into the back. There he strapped me down to an Ultimate Game Chair(tm) and poured Mountain Dew Game Fuel(tm) into my ears until I confessed I only owned a second-hand Dreamcast.

They kicked me out, taunting me as I left defeated. However, once in the car, I managed to drive at twice the speed of Twitter and bought a Gillette Razor Power, Fusion Gamer(tm) from Target, cleverly bookending it with a bag of Cheetos(tm) and a copy of "Puru Puru Ne Sho Ma Machinehead Samurai Kitty". The unsophisticated checkout girl never thought to ask, and she practically smiled at me.

I went home and shaved. My chin is now hairless.

In summary, the Gillette Razor Power, Fusion Gamer(tm) is a good razor, but it is prejudiced against non-power gamers. 3 stars.

68 of 85 people found the following review helpful:
Not as good as the Gamestop Collector's Edition, March 2, 2009

By Sine Nomine "pubwookie" (Mankato, MN United States)

I'm a little disappointed in that the sixth blade that came with the Gamestop Collector's Edition was not available for purchase at least as downloadable content for those who didn't pre-order. My only hope now is to find one used as a trade-in. The blade works so-so when shaving while playing Left4Dead, and the actual blood spurting from your neck when you yank it accidentally during a surprise zombie rush really adds to the realism.

Bonus for those people still playing with CRT screens -- the reflective glass works like a mirror so you can shave without having to use the EyeToy or Live Vision Camera to see yourself, and since the razor runs on batteries, you can even do this during a power outage with sufficient candle light in front of your TV.

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
The razor to end all razors!, March 2, 2009

By Logan Kelly-Johnston (Fayetteville, NC)

This thing is amazing. Not only am I a gamer, I'm also a hardcore beard-grower. Normal razors just didn't do it for me -- they usually broke, shattering microscopic pieces of razor everywhere.

Not this puppy.

As soon as I took it out of the package, I could actually feel my beard shift away in fear. But there would be no hiding from this blade.

A few quick strokes and my gamer-beard was no more!

Also: if you want to get the achievement for shaving in under a minute, skip the lathering stage -- it's way too time-consuming and you'll never make it. Just go straight for the beard and those 50 points will be yours.

on a related note, link to the classic Nipple Extractor review:
http://fabuloustian.blogspot.com/2008/12/best-review-on-amazon.html

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Vote for Running Bear!

Nike promises to print whatever has the most votes. gogogogo
http://www.freshnessmag.com/nikeidcanvas/?designID=957

Japanese police have attracted attention for their flashy samurai-style takedown of a knife-wielding maniac who had already stabbed one officer, being photographed in a “swordfight” as they subdued him.
The incident began one morning with police in the historic city of Nara receiving a report of a “quarrel” in which one man had been stabbed.
Police arrived in the area in force, dispatching some 40 officers to the area, and began searching for the suspect.
Soon a sergeant found the suspect, a 31-year-old unemployed man later found to have 3 kitchen and fruit knives in his possession (he can be seen dual-wielding in the photographs), 400m away from his home, and approached him for questioning.
He did not however come willingly, stabbing at one officer’s head and injuring him lightly. Reinforcements arrived rapidly and began to subdue him in uniquely Japanese style, using their batons as bokken:

The man was arrested and charged with interfering with police duties and assaulting a police officer, charges he denies saying “I have absolutely no recollection of the event.”
Whatever else can be said of Japanese police (who carry pistols as standard), they do deserve credit for not lazily gunning the suspect down or tasering him into cardiac arrest as police elsewhere do frequently.