Chairman Teach U How 2 Mao

lol found this on facebook under the group 'chairman mao'

Name:
Chairman Mao
Category:
Common Interest - History
Description:
Chairman Mao is most generous man. Hu Jintao bad man.
Privacy Type:
Open: All content is public
Location:
Tianamen Square

News:
    Kindly spread word of a Great Moment in History -- Chairman Mao. For those of you who took AP Chinese History, this will be old news.

    HISTORY

    Chairman Mao built Great Wall of China, yes.

    Chairman Mao brought into this world during Qin Dynasty, thousands years ago. At age of 20, he conquered world, but Chairman Mao most generous, he give land to the whites, the blacks, the browns, the huns, so kind.

    Chairman Mao tell Napoleon to not fight Russia, but no, he not listen to Chairman Mao, most wise. Chairman Mao banish him to small island.

    Chairman Mao cannot tell a lie. Chairman cannot chop cherry tree.

    Chairman Mao abolish slavery on his way to watch a play. But Mr. Booth try kill Chairman Mao, most wise. Chairman Mao skilled in martial arts and dodge bullets.

    Chairman Mao kill JFK. But not really. You see, Chairman Mao and JFK good friends. They fake shooting. JFK lives in beautiful villa in Chengdu

    Chairman Mao know where Tupac is, they good friends as well.

    Chairman Mao drop bombs over Baghdad.

    RELIGION/PHILOSOPHY

    In the beginning, there was Chairman Mao. Not Chuck Norris. Chairman Mao will respectfully kill Chuck Norris.

    Chairman Mao giveth, and Chairman Mao taketh away.

    Chairman Mao hide inside Golden Calf and kill nonbelievers

    Chairman Mao teach Jesus to walk on water

    Chairman Mao great inspiration to Sun Tzu. Sun Tzu take tennis lessons from Chairman Mao.

    SCIENCE

    Chairman Mao discover fire one day while he was playing violin.

    Chairman Mao hate mosquitoes. Chairman Mao make M-16.

    Chairman Mao hate Japanese. Chairman Mao make bomb.

    SPORTS

    Chairman Mao world famous ping pong player.

    Baseball players do not take steroids, they take Chairman Mao.

    Chairman Mao started point guard and center for Dream Team.

    When Chairman Mao play tennis, he make opponent run because he slow.

    Chairman Mao strong. Chairman Mao bench 225 665 times because 666 is number of Hu Jintao. Very bad man, Hu Jintao.

    FUN FACTS

    Chairman Mao bring sexy back

    Chairman Mao know recipe to all 31 flavors of Baskin-Robbins

    Chairman Mao think Kristin Cavellari is slut

    Chairman Mao like nothing better than kicking back in La-Z-Boy, sipping on pina colada (shaken), and reading Communist Manifesto. This his favorite book.

    Chairman Mao great fan of Ivan Drago.



    Come back tomorrow, when we learn about Chairman Mao's childhood.